Remember the days when love stories didn’t start with a swipe right? At a recent wedding, the topic shifted to the age-old challenge of finding love, sparking a frustrated comment, Where do real-life meet-cutes even happen anymore?
Ditching dating apps and diving back into the real world in search of love might seem like a scene straight out of a romantic comedy. Yet, believe it or not, amidst our digital age, genuine connections still happen face-to-face. Let’s rediscover the charm of unplugged romance
Firstly, delete the apps
Tinder and similar apps are a waste of your energy and, for many people, can be a rollercoaster of conversations that lead nowhere. These only serve to boost the ego of one person in a relationship. If you’ve had success with Tinder and you feel confident selling yourself through some vacation photos and a biography, keep going.
However, if it’s not working properly for you (which is probably why you’re reading this article), consider removing it from your phone. This may inspire you to meet people in real life, without the safety net of Tinder constantly distracting you.
A study last year showed that the main reason people join Tinder is due to media and peer influence, at 48 percent, while the desire for an actual relationship is only 8.9 percent.
The same study found that users ranked the excitement of finding a match as a higher motivation for using the app than the desire for a real relationship or casual encounters. In short, even though some people are looking for love on Tinder, many treat it like a game or a trend worth following.
Now, ask for a setup
Technology has made it easier to meet people, so the traditional setup has become less common,” explained couples counselor Rachel Sussman in a recent article in The Cut.
She expressed concern that dating apps are diminishing the popularity of blind dates, which used to be a simple and common way to meet potential partners. In the era of swiping and online dating, the idea of a setup can feel outdated and forced.
You might hesitate to ask for a set- up because you’re worried it implies a high level of commitment. However, it doesn’t have to be that way. A setup could be as casual as a quick coffee meeting.
If one-on-one setups make you uncomfortable, you can request that friends invite someone to a group event, which eases the pressure. Alternatively, you could organize a dinner or drinks gathering where everyone brings a single friend to make it more relaxed and enjoyable.
Try the cold approach
Approaching a stranger and striking up a conversation has been scrutinized lately due to concerns about sexual harassment. It has left many people wondering if it’s ever appropriate or welcomed.
However, if you approach someone with politeness, respect their boundaries, and pay attention to cues that indicate their interest, it can be a positive experience. Crucially, if you sense that they’re not interested, it’s essential to walk away respectfully.
Taking the initiative to approach someone often makes you more appealing to potential partners. As someone once told me about finding the confidence to do this: Even if she has a boyfriend or declines your advances, you’ll still walk away feeling more self-assured for a few moments because you took a chance.
Say yes to different things, not everything
When it comes to real-world dating, you might have heard advice like “just say yes to things” and “put yourself out there.” However, simply frequenting the same pub with your friends won’t likely lead to meeting someone new.
Instead, consider accepting those birthday party invitations from colleagues or attending other events you often cancel last-minute due to hangovers. Going to a party where you only know a couple of people is precisely the kind of event you should be open to. It will push you to strike up conversations with strangers.
As marriage and family therapist Amie Harwick explained to The Cut. “Research indicates that broadening your social horizons by diversifying your social scenes, interacting with different people, and exploring new places increases your chances of meeting both potential romantic and platonic partners.”
Take up a new hobby
Before you close the page in horror. Thinking of starting something new? You don’t need to jump into extreme sports like white water rafting. Simply trying new things or meeting more people can help you make new friends or even find someone special.
How about listening to music at local shows or helping others by volunteering? There are also supper clubs where people gather for group dinners. These can be fun and help you chat with new people. So, pick a new hobby and meet new faces
Waiting for the right person can be hard. It’s tempting to keep checking your phone for new people, but that might not help. Remember, one bad date doesn’t mean it won’t work next time. Keep trying and stay hopeful. Good things take time